What would you do in my situation, with much love involved?

Intimacy helps bring couples closer together. If she is unable to fulfill your need, and is unwilling to attend counseling to help her recover over her issues, then you have to decide if that is the type of life you want. If I were you, I'd find someone else. Taking care of a woman and her three kids, while have no pleasure or romance, doesn't sound like any fun at all.